Webinar: 10 Tips for Improving Co-Worker Relations

We all struggle at times with various people and personalities at work. This free webinar by Pat Wagner and Tim Sullard provides some simple concepts (though often difficult behaviors & attitudes for us to change!) that we can all use and apply in work and at home. Pat gives some great anecdotes and stories that make these top 10 ideas very clear and reachable. The session is recorded if you want to listen to the whole thing and the slides are avaialble on http://lifelongeducation.posterous.com/

My summary:

1. Describe behavior. You can't read someone's mind so describe what they do rather than state "this person was rude to me." This can lead to realization that the behavior wasn't directed at you - and not to take it personally and REACT. good to talk over a situation with your boss or buddy can help you see it was a different perspective. Don't start the drama. If others come to you with drama/gossip, just step back and don't add your energy to it.

2. Choose how to respond. Especially on days you know you are off, tired, frustrated - take it slow and take the time to think about how to respond to things. For ongoing situations, take time to plan how you might respond, rather than jump in at the moment. And w/ co-workers -you will have to see them again, probably the next day. So what is the outcome you hope for short term and long term?

3. The world is a mirror. If you find all day long that people are grouchy or negative, the only commonality is YOU so maybe you need to change. You get back what you give out. How are people seeing you and responding? Take notice.

4. Details works. Look on your face, tone of your voice, your words, etc. These details are key to good relations.

5. The standard for behavior. Think about how you react to people you like and people you don't like. Then try to standardize your behavior for all people. Get rid of your JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL learned behaviors and attitudes. You get farther being more calm and positive then showing attitudes with people you dislike.

6. The key is "despite." Despite whatever is happening at your job that is unhappy or unfair you have 3 choices: Leave - which can be good, its good to go to a new place and get unstuck in your current job; Stay and learn to ignore whats happening; or Stay and go through the proper channels to fix the situation. But so NOT stay and sabotage the situation for others or you will turn in to a toxic person too and cause more negativity in the workplace.

7. Do something differently. We all fall into patterns. These patterns are not always good and sometimes we need to change. Get outside your comfort zone. Try a new approach. Respond differently.

8. Not perfect is okay. Sometimes being a perfectionist hinders working with others. You might need to try something new, different, uncomfortable, even if you don't feel like you are ready or perfect yet. You have to try it and risk to learn.

9. Basics work. Basic decency at work is key. These aren't your friends ,they are you co-workers. Saying no and thank you. Acting beyond the way your normally act. Be more formal, but not in an uptight way, but they way your would welcoming someone in your home for the first time.

10. Buddies are necessary. Find a buddy who can support you and critique you and tell you about your own behavior. Not someone who will just agree that "so-and-so is annoying" but someone who will point out how you are acting and tell you how you can change. We are all too close to our own stuff regardless of how old, how educated or how intelligent you are. Also, going to a professional to talk can be important (you go to a professional when you need your teeth cleaner or appendix out right?)

Find more session like this one at http://leadonline.info/